Blair: After watching him in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I
thought highly of Tony Shalhoub.
Agent: I am still reading the screenplay. I like it. But the
problem I see if Hollywood is so youth oriented that the only way I see a
film telling the story of a 60-year-old man is that you get a star behind the
project.
Blair: How about Al Pacino?
Agent: Let me finish reading it and we'll discuss strategy.
October 5: Agent: Still going through your
screenplay. Really like the introduction of Sara to the story.
October 7: Agent: Just
want to follow up and give you my critique of your screenplay. Overall: I
enjoyed it. A very different kind of story. It works as a
screenplay. As I mentioned, I
don’t know how marketable it will be; Hollywood is not doing a lot of films
featuring 60-year-old protagonists. You can get around this
fact either by getting a major star behind the project or producing it as an
independent film.
Other points:
- Your characters tend to speak in full
sentences. People often don’t speak that
way. For example: Page
35.
WAITRESS
Take
a look at the menu and I'll be
right
back to take your order.
Maybe
she would say:
Here’s
the menu. I’ll be back.
--------------
Page
38:
SARA
So,
as I was saying, last week the
FATHER
at my church told me he would
try
to help me meet a nice young man.
You
know, so many guys try to pick me
up
at the diner.
Maybe
she would say: I
was saying, last week the Father at my church said
he’d find me a nice young man. Guys always
hit on me at work.
- Because your characters tend to
speak in full sentences that also makes them sound alike. Give
them different speaking styles. Some might speak in full sentences;
have some be short and quirky. Also, a character can use
repetitive phrases, like “you know”.
- Make sure characters verbally
consistent. On Page 51, Abraham says about a conversation with Sandy,
I got pissed and walked out. Abraham
comes across proper and dignified. Would he say: I got annoyed and
walked out. He swears at the end of the screenplay when Ike is
threatened which makes sense.
- Much of the dialogue is very good. Like the exchange on page 39 where Sara and Abraham outline their intentions
with each other.
- Some of the transitions could be a
little better: Abraham's decision to become a father; Sara’s outrage at
Abraham’s wanting to have child with her – then her sudden change of mind;
and then her decision to skip out on Abraham and her newborn – are all
very abrupt.
- The names of films should be
italicized: An Affair to Remember should be An
Affair to Remember.
Conclusion: You
have a talent for writing. Your characters are interesting and developed. Your
screenplay was easy to read. Frankly, I get some scripts that I can’t
finish because they aren’t interesting enough to hold my attention. Let
me know your thoughts.
October 8:
Blair: Thank you for your kind words. I made some changes
to the dialogue based on your recommendations. To get a Tony
Shalhoub, Al Pacino or Kevin Kline "behind the project"
still requires my finding an agent. Can you recommend someone? I
have tried contacting (with logline and synopsis) all the agencies
"Franchised by the WGA" in New York and California, with no success as
yet.
Agent: Without
an agency agreement,
I will at least see if Tony Shalhoub, Al Pacino or Kevin Kline are willing
to look at your screenplay. This won't take a
lot of time and then we can go from there.
October
19: Agent: I was out of town
last week. This week, I will reach out to the agents for the actors
we discussed. Emailed De Niro's agents. Called Shalhoub's
and Kline's agents (their email addresses were not available). No
answers. I don't leave messages because it gives me the freedom to keep calling! Will keep you updated.
October 20: Agent: I missed typed. It was Pacino
whose agent I emailed. And he responded that the project has to have funding
and filmmaker already attached.
October 21: Agent: Kevin Kline's agent
has agreed to look at your screenplay. I will forward it to him
this afternoon.
October 30: Agent: Left a message twice with Tony's agent. Will
try again on Monday. As to Kevin Kline, I like to give agents a
couple weeks to review projects, so I'll check in with them to
next week, too.
November 5: Agent: Hi
Blair. Updates:
1. Finally got through to Tony Shalhoub's
agent. They will read your screenplay. However,
asked if there's funding. Of course, I said no. But
that's not a deal breaker.
2.
No
response as of yet from Kevin Kline’s agent.
November 6: Agent: Hi Blair, Sent your screenplay to Tony's
agents. Still
haven't heard back from Kevin's agent. That can mean two
things: 1. They aren't interested and they haven't bothered to inform me. 2.
There is an interest and it's being reviewed by multiple stakeholders. I've seen both situations.
November 16: Agent: Hi Blair, Just spoke to Kevin Kline's agent's
office. There's no answer yet; but the admin assistant was familiar
with your screenplay, which is a
good sign.
December 8: Agent: Hi Blair: Just got an email from Kevin Klein's agent; Kevin hasn't
read it yet. And he asked if there's a director assigned to the project. As to Tony Shalhoub,
spoke to his agent’s assistant. He said there is still no final
answer.
I’ll keep trying!
December 21: Agent: Hi Blair: I'll let
you know if I get an update. But one executive assistant said things pretty
much shut down until the New Year.
January 15, 2021: Agent: Hi Blair, Follow up again this morning, with Tony's
and Kevin's agents. Still no answer. They'll look into it and get
back to me.
February 3: Blair: I'm trying to understand the
business. Today marks 15 weeks since you sent my screenplay to Kevin
Kline's agent. Friday will mark 13 weeks since you sent
my screenplay to Tony Shalhoub's agent. Is
this normal or is this because of the pandemic?
Agent: Hi Blair, I
understand your confusion completely. Things are different due to the
pandemic. However, frankly, I am surprised that Kevin's and Tony's
agents haven't just said no. Increasingly, agents want complete packages
for their clients: funding through a producer, a director lined up and monetary
offer. A good idea or script isn't enough
anymore. I do have on my agenda for today to
follow up again with these agents. (I usually check in every other week.)
February 5: Agent: Hi Blair, Called both agents. They always remember me and
your screenplay. But neither has an answer. Sorry but all I
can do is keep checking periodically. Blair, again, this is confusing.
I have clients whose projects I have submitted to agents and networks THIS
YEAR: 2021 who have already been rejected!
March 1:
Blair: We have been waiting now for about four months. 18
weeks with Kevin Kline's agent and 16 weeks with Tony Shalhoub's
agent. It's interesting that two different agents are doing something
regarding my screenplay you think is "confusing."
What is your best guess as to what is going on at the two agencies?
Agent: Frankly, I
believe your screenplay is sitting in someone's email or printed out on
someone's desk who hasn't gotten around to (read) it. I have another screenplay that I am working
with. It's received five or six rejections while we're waiting for one
answer from two different agents for your project.
March 12: Agent: I JUST
spoke to Kevin Kline's and Tony Shalhoub's agents' offices. AGAIN, it's always the same: Hi. There's still no update. But I'll check. This is
incredibly frustrating. I ask about
a decision. Their response is always they'll have to check with higher
ups. I usually call every couple of weeks. I am going to go to EVERY WEEK
and make a pest of myself!
March 29: Agent: Nothing's changed; no answers. I suspect they're trying
to wear us down.
Blair: I
don't get it. Why would they try "to wear us down?" For
what purpose? They could just say no and be done with it.
Agent: I agree as
I have said, with all of my other clients, studios and networks don't hesitate to say, no.
Blair: So, what are they doing with my
screenplay if they can easily just say no? The $64,000 question.
April 5: Blair: It’s April 2021,
almost six months (an unreasonable length of time?) since you sent
my screenplay to Kevin Kline’s agent. Since then nothing, not yes,
not no. Every time the same, no news. I have an idea about
trying to end this treadmill to nowhere.
How about the next time you contact Kevin Kline’s agent, giving him only
30 more days to finally consider my screenplay. After 30 days, we
would “threaten” to withdraw my screenplay from their
consideration. If we lose Kevin Kline,
we would at least still have Tony Shalhoub, who was my first choice
anyway. What do you think?
Agent: Hi Blair. I spoke to both offices this afternoon.
I told them both that this is our final call. I would
prefer to identify other actors to contact and pursue. I want you to suggest other performers
for the role of Abraham.
Blair: Stanley
Tucci and Titus Welliver.
Agent: I'll look them up. Just hope that
they're not represented
by the same agents as Kevin and Tony!
April
8: Agent: Hi Blair: Want
to give you an update:
1.
Sent emails to Kline's
and Shalhoub's agents (with your screenplay attached). Going over the
timeline of their agreeing to consider your script, my sending it to them and
multiple follow ups. And this email was the final outreach.
2.
I looked up Tucci’s
and Welliver’s agents. They are different from Kline’s and Shalhoub’s. However,
Tucci’s working on three TV series and a movie. And Welliver’s
has a TV program and a movie in preproduction. However, I will still call their
agents.
April 15: Agent: Hi Blair: Stanley
Tucci's
agent said that while your concept is interesting, Tucci is not
reviewing scripts which don't have funding. He said if you get funding,
call back.
Titus Welliver's agent is not answering the phone. But I'll keep trying. Neither
Tony's nor Kevin's agents responded to my "final email".
April 16: Blair: What
about Netflix? It seems
to fund a lot of different movies. Can
it be approached to fund mine?
Agent: Netflix doesn't
just fund movies. They produce
movies to stream to their subscribers who are largely in
the 18-29 age group. Not sure that your story fits that group.
Blair: I am a Netflix subscriber and have been one for more than 10
years. And I am 75 years-old. Everybody I know are also Netflix
subscribers. And I don't know anybody 18-29. The Dig (starring
58 year-old Ralph Fiennes), which I saw on Netflix, is an example of a 2021
film that would appeal to a mature audience, as would my screenplay.
Agent: Blair, I am
going by what Netflix's marketing data says.
Blair: So,
it's not worth a try? 54% of 45-54 year-olds are Netflix subscribers. 41% of
55-64 year-olds are Netflix subscribers. 31% of those over 65 are Netflix
subscribers. Those are not insignificant numbers.
Agent: But that
doesn't mean that they're programming for those older groups. For
example, Lifetime is a network for women. Men watch too. But that doesn't mean
that they develop programming for men.
Blair: Do you think The Dig was
programmed for the 18-29 year-old group?
April 17: Blair:
David
Strathairn
April 21: Agent: I'll check
with David's agent.
April 26: Agent: David has his own production company.
The number is not listed. And calls to his agent thus far have gone to
voicemail.
April 27: Agent: I’ve
called Titus’ agent a few times. Calls always go to voice mail. I don’t
leave messages because agents generally don’t return calls about general
inquires. Trying
to identify exactly whom at Netflix to approach. They have such a large
staff and about 100 projects in various stages of development. Finally,
I’m going to have to shutdown my efforts soon. Calling and reaching out
to agents is time consuming and I have to use my time for money making pursuits.
May 11: Agent: I said in my last email I needed to wind down my efforts on behalf of your screenplay.
However, I am committed to following up on the actors we discussed.
Finally got through to David Strathairn's agent. They have agreed
to look at your script.
May 12: Agent: David Strathairn's agent just wrote that he's only
considering fully funded projects.
Still nothing from Titus (after five weeks). It's tough without funding. I'll keep trying with Titus and try to get through to Netflix.
After that I'll have to call it quits.
June 16: Agent: Have left several messages with Titus's
agent - no
response. Reached out to Netflix - again no response.
Blair: I would forget about Titus. Netflix is our last
hope.
July 22: Agent: Netflix
never responded to two emails and a phone message.
September 22:
Blair: It's been two months since I heard
from you. I assume there is no news. It's also been approximately
one year since we started this effort. It's been very frustrating.
I see movies made that are crap and mine sits on a pile of dust. I think
one year is enough. Thanks for your help.
September 28, 2021: Agent: First, I want to say: I understand your
frustration. However, I mentioned in my last series of emails that I
was going to wind down my efforts on behalf of your
project. It’s going to be a very difficult sell in today’s
entertainment industry. It has nothing to do with the quality of your script.
And I have no doubt that you DO see films being made which are not as good
as Abraham’s Son.
First, today, everybody wants a
“done deal”. Studios want the actors, directors and producers lined up. Actors want the funding, director and studio in
place. Producers want the stars signed up. Also, the
producers, directors and actors often have their own projects they are trying get made.
Second, studios look for
projects that already have fans: a successful novel, a well-received article, or a social media creation that has a six or
seven figure following.
Third, I received an email and
a call from a guy that has had some interest in his film by Warner Bros. He shot a couple
of scenes and put it on YouTube. About 20,000 people looked at
it. But it’s also a story about drugs, violence, cursing and
swearing – and a woman gets raped.
In other words, our failure to
promote your film is more about how the entertainment industry works and less
about the quality of your screenplay.
Next Sunday, I'll begin serializing my screenplay: Abraham's Son.
