Yearbook, Chapter 5

 On a warm June night in 1963, the Oswego High School seniors gathered in the auditorium, wearing their blue caps and gown, for the annual graduation ceremony.  Among the memorable events was the speech given by Betty Tucker, our valedictorian.  

After everything was said and done, we ditched the caps and gowns and headed to various locations to celebrate.  Bennie and his two friends, Frank and Billy, plus Bubbles and three of her friends went to Sereno's Bar on West Utica Street.  

After a few beers, Bennie gave Bubbles some good news.  The following weekend, his parents would be out of town and he would be home alone.

He invited Bubbles to come to his house and he would cook her a delicious meal, steak and boiled potatoes, followed by chocolate pudding.  She eagerly accepted.

Ghosting

The term ghosting is the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) without explanation.  I believe it to be cowardly and inappropriate behavior.

When I was a young man, I was guilty of ghosting.  I met a nice young woman at Temple Adath Israel in Oswego, my hometown.  I was on holiday from being a student at the University of Pennsylvania.  She was a student at what is now known as the State University of New York at Oswego.  

We went on one date, the movies and some food afterwards.  After I returned to school, we corresponded by letter writing, promising to see each other on my return to Oswego.  When I did, I called her saying I would see her later that evening.  I had wanted to relax after my flight from Philadelphia.  

However, she strongly insisted I see her right away.  I reluctantly acceded to her wishes.  She gave me a tour of her campus and then I drove her back to her sorority house where she introduced me as her boyfriend.  

We went out that night, had a great time, including making out in the car before she had to obey her curfew.  I went home still angry about how she had treated me that afternoon (strongly insisted).  I never called her or saw her again.  In retrospect, I should have called and discussed why I was upset.  She deserved that much.

I am not looking to excuse my behavior, but perhaps I learned ghosting from someone earlier in my life.

When I was in high school, I asked a pretty blonde girl from Minetto out on a date.  We went to the Friday night high school dance.  Afterwards, we went to Vona's for pizza.  Everything went very well.  We both were having a good time.

My father picked us up and proceeded to drive us back to Minetto.  As we turned south at the corner of West First and Utica Streets, I saw a friend hitching a ride home.  I asked my father to give him a lift.  He got in the car and was very polite.

We dropped my friend off in Minetto and proceeded to the pretty blonde girl's home.  When there, she literally jumped out of the car and ran to the door, entering before I arrived.  I tried calling the next day for an explanation, but she refused to talk to me.  What had I done?  Before the ride home, everything had gone very well.

I was ghosted.  And then I ghosted someone else.  Unacceptable and cowardly behavior.

Quid Pro Quo

In The Godfather (1972), Bonasera, the undertaker, goes to Don Corleone on the day of his daughter's wedding.  Bonasera's daughter had been brutally assaulted and the criminal justice system failed him.  So, this was his plan B.

Once Bonasera shows the required respect to the Godfather and asked for his friendship, Don Corleone was willing to provide the justice he was looking for.  He arranged for the young men responsible for the assault to be assaulted as well.

And then Don Corleone uttered this famous line, "One day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."  To me, this is as expected.  I do something for you; you do something for me.

There you have Quid pro quo, an agreement for a reciprocal exchange of goods or services.

In As Good As It Gets (1997), Melvin, an author, is obsessed with a waitress (Carol) at the restaurant where he eats almost all his meals.  When she can't come to work because her son is very ill, he uses his influence with his publishing house editor to arrange for the medical services of her husband to treat the waitress's son.  The waitress then returns to work.

Carol is extremely grateful for Melvin's act of kindness.  However, when Melvin asks that Carol accompany Melvin and his gay friend on a trip from New York to Baltimore, she initially turns him down.

Carol is aghast that Melvin believes she owes him because of what he did for her.  He responds with, "Is there any other way to see it?"

I agree.  If somebody does you a favor or a kindness, then how can you resist repaying such favor or kindness when requested?  

Several years ago, our neighbors, Vitor and Marli, did an extreme act of kindness for us, unasked for and completely unexpected.  We will be forever in their debt, not out of obligation, but out of gratitude.

Twelve O'Clock High

In The Best Years of Our Lives (1946), Fred Derry (Dana Andrews) was a former bombardier in the US Army Air Corps responsible for accurately dropping bombs on targets in Nazi Germany during World War II.

In Twelve O'Clock High (1949), the story of the 918th US Army Air Corps is told in a flashback to 1942 when it faced a crisis in its command.  

Twelve O'Clock High stars Gregory Peck, Dean Jagger, Millard Mitchell and Gary Merrill.  It was nominated for four Academy Awards:  Best Picture (won by All the King's Men), Best Actor (Peck, but won by Broderick Crawford for All the King's Men), Best Actor in a Supporting Role (won by Jagger) and Best Sound Recording.

Group Commander Colonel Davenport (Merrill) has become over-protective of his men and is unwilling to discipline them, even for costly mistakes. Davenport is relieved of command by his superior, Major General Pritchard (Mitchell).  

Brigadier General Savage (Peck) is asked to take over.  Major Stovall (Jagger) stays on as his administrative assistant.

Savage takes a harsh approach to restoring the group's discipline and morale.  Unlike Davenport, he puts the mission as of primary importance, the safety of his men secondary.

A very key scene takes place when Savage makes an introductory speech to his flight group members.  "Our obligation is to this group...loyalty to the group, not an individual...I have heard we have suffered from hard luck...Well, I don't believe in hard luck.  Some have asked what are we fighting for?  We are in a shooting war...we have got to fight and some of us are going to die...fear is normal...stop worrying about it...forget about going home...consider yourself already dead...once you accept that idea, it won't be so tough."

The air battle scenes (about 10 minutes) near the end of the film were photographed in actual combat during WWII by members of the United States Army Air Corp and the German Luftwaffe.  You can't get more realism than that.