Ghosting

The term ghosting is the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) without explanation.  I believe it to be cowardly and inappropriate behavior.

When I was a young man, I was guilty of ghosting.  I met a nice young woman at Temple Adath Israel in Oswego, my hometown.  I was on holiday from being a student at the University of Pennsylvania.  She was a student at what is now known as the State University of New York at Oswego.  

We went on one date, the movies and some food afterwards.  After I returned to school, we corresponded by letter writing, promising to see each other on my return to Oswego.  When I did, I called her saying I would see her later that evening.  I had wanted to relax after my flight from Philadelphia.  

However, she strongly insisted I see her right away.  I reluctantly acceded to her wishes.  She gave me a tour of her campus and then I drove her back to her sorority house where she introduced me as her boyfriend.  

We went out that night, had a great time, including making out in the car before she had to obey her curfew.  I went home still angry about how she had treated me that afternoon (strongly insisted).  I never called her or saw her again.  In retrospect, I should have called and discussed why I was upset.  She deserved that much.

I am not looking to excuse my behavior, but perhaps I learned ghosting from someone earlier in my life.

When I was in high school, I asked a pretty blonde girl from Minetto out on a date.  We went to the Friday night high school dance.  Afterwards, we went to Vona's for pizza.  Everything went very well.  We both were having a good time.

My father picked us up and proceeded to drive us back to Minetto.  As we turned south at the corner of West First and Utica Streets, I saw a friend hitching a ride home.  I asked my father to give him a lift.  He got in the car and was very polite.

We dropped my friend off in Minetto and proceeded to the pretty blonde girl's home.  When there, she literally jumped out of the car and ran to the door, entering before I arrived.  I tried calling the next day for an explanation, but she refused to talk to me.  What had I done?  Before the ride home, everything had gone very well.

I was ghosted.  And then I ghosted someone else.  Unacceptable and cowardly behavior.