Father's Day Revisited

On Sunday, June 18, 2017, I wrote a blog post (Father's Day) about my father, Harry Lasky, born September 7, 1901 in Troy, NY and died September 17, 1981 in Fort Lauderdale, FL.  His remains lie somewhere in a cemetery in Broward County, FL.  I want to re-examine our relationship and how it affected me during my youth.

In school, I did very well and developed academic self-confidence.  My older brothers Joel and Paul had also done very well in school and I felt it was incumbent on me to match their performance.

On or about 11 years old, I started noticing girls.  I wanted to have relationships with girls, but I developed a shyness around them.  My lack of social self-confidence did not match my academic self-confidence.

Negative experiences reinforced my shyness.  I began to feel it was better not to even try to overcome this lack of social self-confidence.  Nothing ventured...nothing lost.  

As I grew into adulthood, I started having positive experiences which overcame my shyness and I developed social self-confidence, especially with females.

I firmly believe that instilling self-confidence, in all its aspects, is very important for children.  Bonita and I did that with Rachel and Bret.

According to Psychology Today, people are not born shy.  "Babies are born with different temperaments, and those with an extremely sensitive temperament are more likely to go on to be shy. Yet supportive, sensitive parenting can buffer against developing shyness or social anxiety."

My mother tried on several occasions to reinforce my social self-confidence.  For example, she signed me up for dancing classes... with girls.

Unfortunately, I did not have much of a relationship with my father.  He believed his only role as a father was as a bread winner.

My father did boast to me on at least one occasion that he was somewhat of a ladies' man.  He was a good looking guy with money in his pocket.  He was attractive to females.  I wish he could have told me that I, too, was a good looking guy who was attractive to females.  It would have helped.